First the bad news: Ottawa Diva went back to the office this week after nearly two years of being blissfully ignorant of cubicle culture. Example? When she needed help with the printer, she told the new admin not to “disrespect” her technological capabilities. Clearly, Diva needs to re-learn the language of 9-to-5. Asking her boss if he remembered to wash his hands after going to the bathroom is creating a rather awkward workplace tension, and not in a good, “quit looking at my boobs, this is sexual harassment” kind of way.
Diva won’t lie; it was a rough week, made worse by the swine flu The Beaver picked up last Friday when she went to test out her new daycare. (This is the good news: You buy the swine flu, you finally get hair long enough for pig-tails for free. See figure 1 below. Squee!!)
Although Diva would tell you that knowing she was missing all the projectile vomiting that was happening at home made being on the 85 at 7:30 on Monday morning bearable, then came the poop. And the coughing. And snot. And the next thing Diva knows, it’s four days in to once again being a Working Mom and already her turn to stay at home and sop up the soggy mess also known as her daughter, insaneamountofpaperworkpilinguponherdeskohmygod howisshegoingtogetallthatsh!tdoneontime BE DAMNED!!
You know who Diva thinks should win the Nobel Prize? WORKING PARENTS. At the very least, Diva encourages you to think about the sanity of the person who baked the cookie you’re about to bite into after the next United Way campaign bake sale. It’s probably perilously close to “I put arsenic in that brownie you just shoved in your mouth, you dual income, childless asshole.” At the very least, it could be “I refer myself in the third-person. I mean she. SHE refers to herself in the third-person. Man this Catcher in the Rye stuff is tough.”
The point? If you’re looking for some balanced mommy blogging, you ain’t gunna get it from Diva. She rather suggests you check out Postcards from the Mothership by Dani, Ottawa mommy blogger extraordinaire. Diva? I think she’s baking. Or drinking. Whatev.
figure 1:
